Ever since I can remember, I've had anxiety. I was told that I just had an "overly-sensitive" spirit and a kind heart, but I knew better. While being sensitive and having a kind heart are good things, I knew this was something deeper. From the age of 10 I had this deep, dark sense of worthlessness. My parents tried to give me the best life they could, but it wasn't enough. Not even growing up in another culture (which I loved) helped to ease the darkness that was swallowing me whole.
There's a saying in Japan where I grew up called gamman. It means doing your best no matter what and never giving up. But that's the cheery version. In my head, it was: "Keep trying until you break. And when you break, pick up the pieces and start over again." When the Columbine tragedy happened, I began hallucinating that there were bloody gunmen sitting on the edge of my bed. I never spoke of these things to my parents because I wanted them to be happy. But I was at my breaking point. And this time I would not be able to pick up the pieces and start over.
When I was 15 and we came back to the States, I finally told a doctor what was going on. 6 medications and 4 hospitalizations later. I am stable enough to live in my own apartment. It has been a roller coaster ride of 15 years. But I'm hoping that getting a service dog will help slow down that roller coaster. The video says:
"Hi! My name is Sarah. I love to read, write, watch movies, and travel. I am a strong, quiet person. I don't like to ask for help. But my anxiety is getting worse... I barely leave my apartment. Getting a service dog would open up my world. Please help me make that dream come true! Share or donate today! Thanks for watching!
