The Secret

I have no idea how to start this post. The idea of a blog is to share your life experiences with others. I haven't been posting on this blog a lot. The main reason is because I've been struggling with what to share and what not to share. The conclusion is I have no answer. Whatever I put out there is going to make me vulnerable. 

You see, I've been keeping a secret for many years from a lot of people. It has caused me to lose sleep and contemplate suicide. I've spent nights on my knees praying. But I'm now at a point in my life where I'm happy and it shouldn't have to be a secret anymore. I am gay. I have been since the age of 15 when I finally admitted it to myself. I know that I may lose friends over this. I know there are many who believe it is a sin. I understand that. I have no hard feelings against anyone who chooses to walk away now. 

Let me answer some questions first. Yes, my parents know. Yes, I have read the Bible. But I firmly believe that God has made me this way and I stand by it. I choose to do this now because, however selfish it may be, I am tired. Tired of the guilt, the shame, and the fear. Tired of wanting to end my life rather than live it.