The Kid Conundrum

My hormones have been acting crazy lately. All I can think about is having kids. And by “having” them I mean adopting. I choose adopting because nothing is coming out of me either way. And why have your own child when there are so many out there who need loving families? I know the cost scares some people, and a lot of adoptive kids with troubled pasts (not all, of course).

I have an honest question for my readers : Why is adoption not the automatic choice for people who want to start a family? I don't mean to step on people's toes, I'm just genuinely curious. I've also been watching too much TLC. I see these couples who want their “perfect” kid, and if something goes wrong, they act as if the world's going to end. If you have a kid, love them and take your responsibility to raise them as decent people seriously. If you can't, give that responsibility to someone else who can. I always hate to see kids who are stuck because their parents won't take responsibility. Anyway, the rant is over.

I want kids so much it hurts. Of course, I'm not in a stable enough situation financially to offer anything right now. But that doesn't make the desire go away. I've had good and bad experiences with kids. I remember being at a birthday party once and enjoying myself immensely with these three kids. Then the three-year-old spilled juice on me, and the mother panicked. She kept those kids away from me for the rest of the day. That is something I will never forget, even though she probably didn't realize what she did. I have a disability, I'm not made of porcelain.

Luckily, I have friends who don't mind their kids being around me. I'm very grateful for that. But it always comes back to my raging hormones. I've thought about volunteering with kids, but an opportunity hasn't come up yet. What am I supposed to do with my raging hormones til then?